CyberMinions.net

I have an 11:45 scheduled for today and then I am going to the mall to find storage boxes and replace a rug. I may replace two if I find something reasonable. Yesterday, the shorties had a challenging time dealing with bubbly booties so I have to make it up to them with a nice surprise: Get Well Toys. :-)

Target has leather storage boxes that double as ottomans. I'm going to give each shorty their own box so they can put their toys away (and sit, stand, dive off into the futon and what ever else they envision ottomans would make good wee people use for). 

I hear they are very sturdy and cost $60. They certainly look nice on-line. I may buy one for myself as well. I figure Stephen will be building bridges across them because everything in my home eventually becomes a roadway. He drives cars, trains, remote controls, shoes, spoons (and all kinds of stuff) all over the house. Imaginative play is a beautiful thing.

I hope the manufacturer who put these puppies together envisioned wee people encountering their product.

They are about to be minion tested. Wont that make an interesting product review (LOL).

So, There's This Car Seat Sitting In The Middle Of My Futon...

The thought is slowly driving me insane. Have I inadvertently created a Minion Throne to rival the toilet bowl experience in my apartment? Never know... I hear 3 year olds are a breed unto themselves, are fickle with their loyalties, have brilliant if unorthodox problem solving capacities when they really want something you tell them they can't have and periodically suffer from Daffy Duck syndrome.

Who knows how a change in routine affects any of them. They are coded with the secret essence of a 3 year old (LOL).

See that linen pushed off to the side partially trapped by his seat? When I tried to remove it so I could change the sheets he started yelling, "Mine, Mine, MINE, MINE, MIIIIIIIIINE!" and had the nerve to wrestle me for it. Little Dude does not care if you are bigger than him. He will fight you. Shorty isn't feeling well, so of course I let him win and left the pooh sheet off to the side to swipe his planes, trains, automobiles and truck linen when he is not looking.

Problem is he wont stop looking at me... He is really, really looking at me. Like I'm a chicken leg... (LOL)

I wait and wait and wait and am starting to wonder when is the last time I saw him blink? Hmm...  Maybe now would be a good time to offer Noah something to snack on (as if I need an excuse to run like hell from a 3 year old (LOL). There are only four rooms. Where the Hell am I going to go?

So, there's this car seat sitting in the middle of my futon but now it's got this little person in it who wont stop following me around the apartment and staring at me. I figure if I sit still long enough he'll get bored and go check on Noah. I think he's on to me wanting to confiscate that sheet. He is not having any part of that (LOL). He sits when I sit and stands when I stand, moving when I move...  Every time I stop walking a noggin bounces off my butt.

What is up with that? Maybe we should take a nap. A nap sounds really, really good. Seriously... I am being stalked by a wee people and it is hard work figuring that out (LOL). We have four rooms and an alcove for Shorty to choose from but somehow, in his hour of protect the blankie need, Potty Man has decided he must not let me out of his sight. He is wearing his fave Cars undies and dutifully going to the bathroom. They must not be soiled. He likes his undies and keeps reminding me he has Cars...

Hmm... I wonder what he's thinking...

There is suspicion in his gaze as Stephen, the Minion Blur, wonders why I am not doing what I normally do. After all, I do this every singe day around lunch time. We've been home from school on break for a whole week. He knows the routine. Something is amiss. Shorty does not seem to be in the mood for surprises. He seems to be exceptionally tired today. Bags are forming under his eyes because he did not sleep well, yet Stephen knows I am supposed to be logged into my social media accounts chatting with clients, working on the upcoming books, playing with my friends and networking, networking, networking...

It appears that if Mommy is not typing madly on her laptop while Skyping with her British friends and watching Netflix BBC programs (like Dr. Who) with her gal pals, the world as the Blur Minions knows it will be spinning off it's digital axis. He likes my friends in the UK. They think he is cute, chipper, plucky and Step thinks they have such wonderful accents. He giggles when they talk. He also loves my Texas friends. Melodious has such wonderful diction and we laugh a lot. ;-)

Sometimes, I think that is why he obsesses over the speed dial. He likes having conversations with the people who live in my computer. He knows they are real because he sees himself living in my computer in Facebook, YouTube and ActiveRain, among other sites (LOL).

So, I am blogging away while Shorty supervises me in silence. Noah is lost in YouTube. I have heard this one before and I fear I may be starting to script SpongeBob as well (LOL). You know you are in trouble when you can say the next line without thinking and think even more lines without saying them. I love my kids but I am in Car Seat and YouTube Hell. Where am I going to go? There is no where to run and no place to hide and I have to keep marching the 3 year old into the bathroom because today is a very challenging potty day. 

You have no idea what I'd be willing to pay for a pull up right now.

My digital kingdom for a pull up. Seriously.

Life With Wee People: Well... That Totally Whomps... (So Much For Early...)

No good deed goes unpunished. Seriously... I have been up since 4 AM dealing with Stephen, the Minion Blur. He was irritable, cranky, didn't sleep well (and peed on me twice). That translates into not feeling well because when he whines and moans (and deliberately aims it at you) he wants your undivided attention.

Shorty demanding lots of affection and attention in super-needy mode is a dead giveaway I am going to have major issues... I don't want to have issues. I want to paint. I want to clean. I need to go to the store and buy food because the boys have been plowing through the food as if it is not supposed to be there. Sometimes, I really believe they think stocking reserves is offensive (LOL). I had a case of juice in the closet and they got all bent out of shape, like Mom's have to figure out a way to cram it into the fridge. Dump the chicken in the garbage if you have to, toss the eggs down the chute if you must but juice boxes must be cold... They are serious about their snack-age. If I cut their apples wrong I get attitude. :-)

So I'm thinking, "Yay! First day back to school." Break is over. We'll take our showers, hit the 24 hour diner, grab some silver dollar pancakes, maple syrup and turkey sausages with apple juice. It's a fave breakfast meal of the shorties at a great spot with lots of parking minutes from the house. The boys are in a good mood so when Step started drinking out of everyone's juice glass I didn't think much of it. It's what he does...

Then he says the magic words like a breathless, tentative question: "Pee pee?"

I am thinking, "OMG - how much time do I have?" He's got that deer in the headlight look like the thought surprised him. We're going to school in 20 minutes. We're supposed to be early. He's potty training in regular undies and I don't have a change of clothes in the car for him. He drank significant portions out of three large glasses of apple juice and now he has to pee. I know he is serious because he is climbing over Noah to go with me to the bathroom. I stand up to help him.

Too late.

Dude pees on his brother.

We're looking at each other shocked. It's an accident. His lip starts to quiver and I am thinking, "Okay. We'll take this home. We're minutes from the house... Quick change. Not a problem." I take garbage bags I use for my open houses from the trunk and put them on their seats and off we go. We leave the food on the table because we have to make the highway after this. I'm thinking, "Not too bad, we have time."

We're standing in the elevator. Noah passes gas. He looks horrified. I'm thinking, "Noooooo... it can't be..."

Yup. It is. The light-bulb goes off with my 3 year old. Stephen looks up at Noah and proudly chirps, "Pee pee?" Then he grins a big cool aid smile because in his mind they have something in common. They've gone in public.

Poor Noah looks absolutely crushed. His lips start moving but the words wont come. I feel bad for them both. I tell him it's okay because now I'm feeling kinda bubbly and unsettled myself. In the shower they go. Quick rinse, new clothes and I'm thinking, "We can do this," because they don't feel warm. Stephen starts yelling while I come into the bathroom with a towel to carry him out. Shorty says, "No."

He grabs his potty seat, hops on the toilet, promptly squats then goes with very interesting sound effects. 

They both have the runs.

My day is over... I am doomed to Nicktoons, YouTube and washing underwear for the rest of the day all because Noah wanted Rice and Broccoli for diner.

How do I know it was the Chinese food?

Guess what I am about to do... Yup. You got it.

Bummer... It was really good food and I had relaxing Monday morning plans that did NOT include the wee people underfoot until this afternoon. Poor Stephen is curled up in the fetal position with his shoes in my bed. Watching him not bounce off the walls is very disconcerting.

Did Laundry, Played Football, Scoped New Construction, Painted A Room, Painting Furniture...

The cool thing about having curious kids is that you can just about get them to try anything. Stephen, the Blur Minion, was on laundry detail today with Noah the Net Geek. Since he likes placing quarters in the parking meters I figured I let him put them in the washing machines. What the hell was I thinking? Dude wouldn't stop (LOL). I distracted him with the fact that the laundry room has a hidden bathroom. His face lit up like a Christmas tree. We had electronics in the laundry room (my cell phone) and he started trying to get the door open like a three year old on a mission of extreme importance. I soon had to distract him from the distraction but nothing I did was as interesting as seeing the inside of that bathroom. Shorty was spending an inordinate amount of time eying the door knob and contemplating the padlock ( which Step couldn't reach it but still tried to break in on several occasions - LOL).

When he wasn't having fantasies of drowning my cell phone in someone else's toilet, he was prolonging the agony of doing loads of laundry by picking my pockets and sneaking quarters into the machines to extend the wash cycles. I did previously ask what the hell was I thinking, right? That was my stupid mommy moment of the day (LOL). His antics kept trapping us in the basement for longer than expected and killed our work schedule (which I kind of didn't mind in the end after I got over having my emotional cows - LOL). 

Desperate to escape the laundry room, I resorted to playing football in the snow with my kids between wash and dry cycles. This, of course, would result in more wasted work time and laundry (LOL). Thank goodness the snow has been steadily melting and I don't mind slacking off if it's for the kids. We had fun but I am feeling it. Stephen tackles with his head. You can only take so many head butts before you really start running away from him for real. Dude never gives up either. I think the diving in the snow part whether he had the ball or not was kinda cool. It is 41 degrees and the snow is melting so I can't wait to see what it looks like in the morning when I drive the shorties to school tomorrow.

They will be going in early (yes, I am trying to get rid of them - LOL). I will not be picking up brokerage keys, showing any properties (might not answer my phone) and am taking the day off to relax and paint. The boys have been helping me paint which means I have been getting very little painting done. I need to finish my projects because I have to roam down the East Coast for a couple of days and do not want to return to this after a road trip. I know I am behind in my schedule and kinda don't care because we are having mad fun and I need to spend more time with my kids. They think they have real jobs. I have to remind them there is more to life than working with Mom (LOL). ;-)

We did do a run to Brooklyn to check out some new construction (this is why they think they have a job - LOL). My boys love construction sites so it's a mutual Bob-The-Builder love run because I am always scoping real estate and they like everything physical about my industry. It's second nature to them. We like playing something we call "I-Spy a New Condo/Co-op" (LOL).

Of course that means I have to let them do something constructive. If they do what I want I have to do something they want so I let them run amok with the rollers in their room. Yes, that little exercise resulted in more laundry (LMAO).

Stephen seems to think that attack of the minion roller is a game we all like playing (not). Is it the squeaks of surprise or the squawks of terror that turns his grin meter on? Even when I scowl he laughs. It's like he knows he is about to get away with it. Anticipation and all that jazz... He doesn't do it all the time but does it enough to disrupt our concentration and progress. I was really pissed off about the hall but I digress...

Noah is a very careful painter and seems to really enjoy helping out. Stephen, in sum and substance,  is a nut job who needs lots of direction. Don't let my complaining fool you because shorty loves to paint and can paint if he wants to. We are into equal opportunity arts and crafts in my house. Who knows what his talent will be when he grows up. I am not going to stifle Mr. Creativity, especially since he is so enthusiastic about slinging color. He's somewhat manageable if you give him a small job (sometimes small projects become really, really big ones - LOL) The giggles are usually a dead giveaway that attack is pending and we usually go into protective, defensive stances (but shorty also knows how to attack in stealth mode).

We are painting furniture together. He's learning something from this. What? I do not know (LOL). We have to do it in thin layers, then pull the paint up so what is underneath can show through as a distressed sort of finish. This is going to take a while because we have to do light colors to bleed through and highlight the dark layers. The top and trip are in progress. Cool, eh? We have to sand it down lightly and stain it a couple of times to make it glossy once all the under-colors are done. You can do a lot with thin washes of latex and acrylic on wood. Little fingers make interesting textures when you give them a wipe and have them dab the paint off while you are putting the paint on.

I am staying home so I can draw leaf patterns on the front and side so we can continue the project. Will let you see the final result when we're done. Just be warned it may take a while. The bookshelves are going to be fun. :-)

Silence...

I crave silence... I want the thoughts in my head to go away. I have things I'd like to get done and a lot of other things distracting me. Sometimes, when I watch my son Noah at work I wonder what he is experiencing while he sorts through his digital photographs. He is a cute little brooder and I love watching him quietly thinking his private thoughts. He has very expressive eyes when he's lost in a memory. It can be fun to watch his expressions if you do not disturb him and he remains unaware that he's being spied upon.

Noah took this shot and a host of others that I really need to post soon. I think his coffee book is going to be full of some very lovely eye candy.

I was spoofing on the shorties earlier, having a bit of blog post therapy, but I deleted the post because I found myself thinking it would be so much nicer to publish a quiet, simple little post while I curl up on the futon and pray for silence...

Stephen really, really needs to nap.

My left eye is twitching. I was on the phone with Sprint for 43 minutes. That's all I am going to say about it. Feel free to fill in the blanks (LOL). :-)

Dear Facebook: Where is Starbucks and the Outside Blog Minion Report?

I did not delete my business fan page for the Outside Blog Minion Report but it has disappeared. Now I have to go check on the other ones and my widgets are down showing no one is connected there. I also can't find the Starbucks fan page so I know it's something on your end and not my end. I work really hard on my little blogs and as a customer I am not happy with your silence.

I can not run an ad campaign if I do not have  the specific fan page to advertise. If there is an issue, you should tell us so millions of people don't wonder over the thousands of conversations going on right now about how stuff appears to be deleted/missing/problem loading page error coded on the Facebook site but shows up in the search engines as still being out there in cyberspace available to select. I'm clicking links to nowhere here. I AM NOT HAPPY!

You gave us a broadcast banner when you upgraded to the new home page but are very quiet about how that upgrade has got fan pages winking out like dead stars all over the Internet. I WANT MY BUSINESS FAN PAGE FOR THE OUTSIDE BLOG MINION REPORT BACK WHERE IT BELONGS. I sent you a brief e-mail to info@facebook.com. Do you have staff to handle this? I wrote this post because they appear to be ignoring me (or overwhelmed with inquiries maybe?)...

Please do not ignore the writers who hang out and play on your website. We're users. We have cyberlives. We like living them...

It is very upsetting when our virtual homes abruptly disappear without warning and when we try to find out why we discover you appear not to give a damn. You gave a damn about telling us about your new look. You should also give a damn about our missing fan pages. I know you guys have great growth. Kudos and congrats for all of us users who like you, however, there are paying customers who are paying for advertisements on your website who have missing fan pages us fans can't access. I can't get my own to show up and I can't find Starbucks... Growth is not a good thing if you don't tell us why stuff is missing when we report it to you and ask you to please fix it. Your numbers wont help me if I decide to run an ad to reach people and my business fan page (with my fans) is gone.  

BTW, my widgets embedded on the websites that I pay for no longer work for my missing fan page. Please put the Outside Blog Minion Report back where it belongs so my peeps can stop asking me why I deleted something that I did not delete. Thank you.   

Update: 164 Starbucks pages and counting but mine is still gone. It's been deleted from the Fan Page directory.

Before the snow rolled in and shot most of my play-date plans to hell, my gal pal Susana Isakharova treated me to a lovely lunch at one of our fave places to eat: Kyoto.

We decided to go with the Rack of Lamb and the New Years Roll (Pssst... the weekly special changes all the time so we absolutely love this place). Miso soup and green tea is a must have when we dine Japanese. I also asked for OJ because I needed the sugar. Missed my donut and tea because I didn't get to Starbucks (LOL).

I was not kidding when I said we were working our way through the menu. We do that a lot (1- because it's good food and 2- so I can have something to eventually blog about - LOL). Sana is always giving me great blog ideas and periodically checks up on me regarding how many chapters I've written in my book. I'm juggling three so I asked her to write a couple of chapters to go with our pending podcast on the shorties and their quirks (LOL). Chicka is mad cool and Stephen has a bit of a crush so when it comes to writing about the boys she does not let me slack off. I appreciate that because I frequently backslide when it comes to sticking to the blog schedule because my kids are crazy, but I digress... :-)

Our goal is to eat everything on the menus of our fave restaurants at least once. The cool thing about Kyoto  is the fact that meeting our goal may never happen because the weekly specials are divine and rotate constantly (LOL).

I love creativity. These people are creative. Their presentation has been flawless and I have never had a bad meal here. I am looking forward to having more business meetings here, not to mention dragging in my friends who have yet to experience this place. I bet I could get you addicted to food porn. Look at this dish. My camera simm cards are full of shots like these of meals I've enjoyed with my loved ones. :-)

Sana is posing for my next gallery show so I always enjoy observing her while we get together and talk about the shorties and trade tid bits and updates regarding what's going on in our lives. Sometimes I blog live here because it is such a stellar outside office. If you find a relaxing spot, nothing beats a laptop with an Air Card to capture the moment (LOL). The fun thing about being able to go online at the drop of a dime is if you get inspired you can get the thought down and delivered to where it needs to go. In this case, the lovely green of the bok choy had me creating a painting I need to get out. It's close to the "dried palm" gallon of paint sitting in my foyer. :-)

Another cool thing about having a wonderful meal with a good friend is if you are brainstorming over something tasty you get really great ideas when you are in your Zen moment. Painting the apartment has been slow going with Mikey in FL helping his Dad, but we are making some progress (if Stephen would stop scribbling on the walls I'd be done by next week - LOL).

Since the shorties are into creating impromptu works of art I took them to our fave art supply store to purchase a couple of 24x48 canvasses before the blizzard hit. We're painting something interesting together and I will let you know how our latest creation goes.

People who know Stephen, the Minion Blur, get the fact that insanity is giving my three year old a paint brush when we all know shorty would paint your hair and clothes just as quick as the wall, floor, rug and canvass (LOL). Did I mention I am just as quirky as mu kids? (LOL) Besides, to see him do the Stephen happy dance when ever we come here is worth the ruined laundry and a couple of impromptu showers. My little dude has rhythm. How could I not encourage that? (LOL) :-)

I think when you see our latest set of paintings you're gonna be amazed... My kids are great at swirling paint if you help them pick out the colors. I let them do my backgrounds and keep fixing the lines because they never color within them. Right now I'm sketching with a bunch of sharpies because I need something that will bleed through the thin acrylic washes until we build enough layers. I will be switching to oil to finish the works later.

The cool thing about getting them involved in helping me with my next gallery show is that they are usually less inclined to destroy what I am working on if they view it as their work (LOL). Then again, Stephen is into the ritualistic sacrifice of a lot of stuff so that theory may have an exception to the rule clause (LOL). You never know with that kid. He's prone to do just about anything and with a cool aid smile to boot. This is why you should not tell my kids that they are cute. Cute signals the get out of jail free card reflex within them. Think I'm kidding? I have digital film to prove this. Why do you think I have hesitated to post the ski trip? Seriously... (LMAO). :-)

Life With Wee People: Snow Bandits

Stephen, the Blur Minion, has discovered the quickest way into his girlfriend's heart is to barrel down the slide, dive into the snow, then roll your way around the side until it's time to climb the ladder and do it all over again.

I think my fave part of the play-date is when Noah told them to make Snow Angels. Seems they couldn't remember if they should be face up or face down so they did it both ways (LMAO). I kept thinking, "what the hell are they thinking???" but didn't want to interrupt the fun because if you are going to have a snow date the least you can do as a parent is get out of the way and let the wee people freak out. :-)

At one point, between several off the wall conversatons with two of the moms, we had to have a serious talk about stephen's potato fetish. Shorty kept stealing the eyes off the snowman next to the swings and sent the nose packing in a PDD-NOS fit of minature rage when we told him he had to put the spuds back. No ifs, ands or buts about it. I eventually got him to remake the face (which was a big mistake because he took that to mean he could fix them all and started disassembling the other snowman so he could make that one over). 

Shorty had to be reminded that Yanidmar et al worked really hard on that puppy and the other kids would not be pleased regarding his sudden reign of terror. When parents freeze their bahookies off so the wee ones can have fun you sometimes have to find a way to get through to the little people that one ought not to destroy yesterday's work for today's brief moment of pleasure. Poor Noah had to attach that arm at least three times. I fixed it once myself. I think Miya may had mended it a time or two as well. However, being Stephen, he was relentless in his quest for destruction. Thus, we had to distract him with the fruit tree that died during the snow storm to quench his hyperactivity.

Stephen gave it maybe two minutes of thought. Noah decided to shoot pictures of trees with his Nikon since this tree had no snow on its branches while all the other trees do. I guess when we get back from showing homes in Briarwood, Queens Village and Fresh Meadows my budding 8 year old photographer will have another wee people perspective to share with you.

I am looking forward to seeing what catches his eye and where our sketching is going to take us tonight. I hear he may be dyslexic (which would explain a lot) so after they test him and I learn more about it maybe I will be able to help him communicate more effectively. I'm playing towards his strengths and his quirky little traits are really starting to fascinate me because he's been expressing himself in very interesting ways.

Gotta run. Got clients to meet and shorties that need a clean change of clothes. We also have to go shopping. Mr Noah wants broccoli with his free range chicken tonight. We're cooking Japanese and have a date to watch some Netflix. My boys love Dr. Who. I think it's the goofy aliens and British accent. ;-)

I Love Snow

I'm watching my kids sleep while wondering just how crazy the day is going to get. I love snow and I see a lot of possibilities to play. The park is only a few blocks away so I don't have to worry about the fact that the ramps to the garages have not been shoveled clear. That may not happen for a while because it is going to be snowing on and off for the rest of the day. We're having a blizzard warning but it is pretty peaceful with little wind right now. We can't travel far or stay out long because it is 31.8 degrees with freezing fog en-route. Visibility is 0.2 miles so I am thinking maybe a short trip around the block for a brief snow ball fight in the yard out back after breakfast. Might even make snow angels. :-)

http://activerain.com/blogsview/934010/amanda-durbin-hall-queen-of-the-chaos-tribe-facebook-45-meme-with-a-tann-starr-twist-

Here's your chance to ask me 20 new questions...

Before you do you may want to read this link and run like hellbecause February 14th 2010 is the deadline for new MeMe information. Feel free to leave your questions in the comment section below and may the Lord have mercy upon your souls if and when I do answer you because I am known to answer just about anything(LOL). Being a blunt, quirky person means the answers may surprise you. I know my relatives had a field day with it. They are still trying to get me to spill the secret to my special skill (ROTFLMAO). :-D

Melodious, you never did answer the original post...Hmm... Wassap with that? I am soooo tagging you with the new one. As to the old one: ANSWER ME GIRLFRIEND!!! I dare you. I double dare you. I triple dare you (LOL). ;-)

People with the Q&A if you're chicken but really want to know something you can always e-mail me the question and I will consider adding it to the line-up. If I get enough of 'em tonight maybe I'll answer the update challenge early (like tomorrow night since it's a snow emergency up here and we're locked in - LMAO). They closed school for tomorrow. My kids are thrilled. We will be painting on canvas tomorrow. :-)

Just got home from shopping with the shorties, Sana and a couple of my fave members of the geriatric brigade. They know when a serious snow storm is coming and started calling for rides soon after Susana and I finished with the wee people. I love my elderly neighbors. Their bones are better than the weatherman and they think this is going to be a twofer. Seriously so. Ever hear a farming Granny say, "it  smells like snow or feels like rain?" They know what they're talking about. Mine does anyway so we are in for the evening and not going anywhere tomorrow (unless we decide to make a snowman - LOL). ;-)