CyberMinions.net

Diary Of A Google Whore... 10-31-2009

The cool thing about running in the rain to clear your head is that once it is clear you have plenty of room to fill it with sensations and impressions. Sometimes it is the Etymology of the word "Whore" or "Prostitute" that catches your attention while you jog by the bus stop and notice shenanigans going on in a parked car (ROTFL). According to Wikipedia: ‘To prostitute is derived from a composition of two Latin words: (preposition) pro and (verb) statuere. A literal translation therefore would be: ‘to expose’, ‘to place up front’. Hmm... when you take the sex slant out of it, being a very narrow and specific type of innocuous whore may actually be quite useful (LOL). 

We all know what Google is so I shall not waste time defining it. But what is a "Google Whore?" Hmm... Some might say a Google Whore is a person (like me) hell bent on Google Domination that advocates using Google to get what you want (LMAO). Think about it: (1) We are writers. (2) We all want exposure. (3) We market ourselves and companies, soliciting strangers who are seeking something we may be able to give them when they search for professional products and services...

Question: Don't we all want our websites to show up on page one of stellar search engines? I know I do. My search engine of choice happens to be Google (LOL).

With all things in life the virtual road you choose will determine your final page rank destination. Being addicted to Google Juice, I blog in the Rain and happily advocate pimping Outside Blogs because my three outside blogs feed my insatiable Google Domination cravings. I like being one of the three Queens of Chaos and love the fact that if you were to Google "Club Chaos" my bay-bays in ClubChaosAgents.com and the ActiveRain Group: Club Chaos are rocking cyberspace with their link love. You will discover both sites are happily entrenched on page one of Google within the top 15 slots. How cool is that? Very. Bet you wish you were a Google Whore (LOL).

Of course, the connotation suggests there is a dark side to Google Whoredom. Why don't we go to the Urban Dictionary to find out more information about the digital divide's "oldest profession" and sometimes biggest competitive complaint (LOL). In the meantime, I'm going to go back to making more music spam and creating original content so I can solicit the public for intellectual and nonsensical discourse while I pimp my blogs (LMAO). I might even sell some real estate while I am at it... :-)

If you need help setting up your outside blogs, shoot me an e-mail. With a quirky mentor like me you will never write the same again. Not if you join the Google Domination agenda at Club Chaos (LMAO). Wanna have some fun? Stop sitting on the fence and go get an Outside Blog. You can't be discovered if you are not being indexed by the search engines. Seriously...  ;-)

I have kick a$$ girlfriends and we have kick a$$ toys. We go to the gym. We go to the range. We go jogging... We play video games. We blog and banter... We cook. We shop. We eat... Sometimes, we get together and parallel play like mutant kids, cleaning our weapons, doing laundry in the basement between working on-line and/or recreational reading side by side for hours on end while barely saying a single word to each other.

It's a very comfortable and old silence. Sometimes a Mona Lisa smile, saucy wink or quirky flick of an eye brow says it all. Just being together makes us happy because old friends don't feel a need to have to entertain or chatter incessantly. We can just be...

When we share quiet time it is priceless to me because my wee people are always making noise (LOL). I think that's why I virtually lurk late at night and early in the morning reading blog posts and answering e-mail. I enjoy the quiet time with my virtual friends as well...

You ever have a group of friends who make you smile no matter what?

I think that is the best part of ActiveRain.

I know when I am with you I am going to smile and eventually howl with laughter about something... Sometimes, cleaning the toys can be mad fun after working out and coming home to Club Chaos becuse cleaning the toys relaxes me. Cleaning the toys means my workout is completed. Cleaning the toys mean I had playtime with my brick and mortar law enforcement friends.

BTW, I promised you guys a gym update: The Grannies kicked my a$$ in cardio again. Oh well... Can't be great at everything (LOL).

I'll will settle for good, after all, I am improving ( if comparing yourself to two grandmothers count - ROTFL). I should invite them to the range. Maybe if I teach them how to shoot they will tech me how to box. How's that for Quid Pro Quo? (LOL). Just thinking... ;-)

Personal note: Can't wait to see TLW in December. Were going shooting together!!! Yay! Mama, I have more toys to show you (LOL). These are my faves. ;-)

http://www.sam-e.com/job/profile/6

Click the above link and vote, then refresh your vote page to make sure it registered. This is the link to vote for Candice A Donofrio. Candyland is a mad fun chicka with a great blog and I have to say the last line in her contest blurb made me spurt green tea through my nostrils. I love the unexpected. There is nothing quite like a genuine laugh to make the bad part of the day go away. It also makes a good day even better. Seriously... :-)

Her members only post is here: Just Call Me Bloggy-Anna

Oh, the naughty things I plan to do to Bloggy-Anna over there later on (LOL). My fave partial line from that post by my Club Chaos Activepeep? I quote: "Aside from the occasional, temporary crash/burns a 52-in-December-post-menopausal-married woman (juxtaposition thoroughly intentional)..."

Hahahahahaaaaa! Juxtaposition intentional, indeed (LOL). I shall have to try that... I love irony and feel a stellar high-jacking in the making if I manage to plant the right seeds of playful mayhem (LMAO). After all, it is a brief, somewhat semi-serious post, so make sure you vote for my gal pal because I want my bay-bay to win. She is a very talented and fun writer. Vote every single day because the rules allow it. Bookmark the page because it is always nice to help one of the bay-bays monetize their blog. Seriously. Who doesn't like money? (LOL)

Besides, it takes real guts to start a conversation about post-menopausal women. Most of us are in denial, you know. Who wants to talk about aging ungracefully and body parts sagging? Did you miss the part of the show where I recently got outclassed by two Grannys in my boxing class? Seriously. They had more cardio stamina than I did (LMAO). Why did I have the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to write that post? Besides the fact that it's true? (LOL) Hmm... Maybe because my brain was having a transparency seizure due to the creative, raging menopausal hormones spiraling out of control, determined to deprive me of sleep and common sense or was it because I actually enjoy laughing my a$$ off when I talk with you people about my day...

Daaaang... it may be a little or a lot of both. Who knew? (LOL)

The Road To Menopause is paved with hot flashes, mood swings, fuzzy thinking and a host of interesting symptoms lampooned and cartooned by a plethora of stellar satirists. When we creep into that virtual backyard of "no more children" "no more periods" "lots of freaky hormones" we actually are not quite sure when we realized we were no longer playing ball on our own organic home court. The only heads up I shall give the unsuspecting men reading my post tonight is the hint that menopause is not a button on your DVR or TIVO. It's the Change of Life Button that will make your bedroom a living hell if you don't pay attention when we significant others start acting more strange than usual. Since I was already quirky and strange, coming from me that is a very significant statement (LMAO). ;-)

Oh the interesting things I could say about my foray into the wonderful world of post-menopausal-married-people...(ROTFL). Notice how I dropped the woman part. Know why? PMS can also stand for Putting up with Men's Shit (LMAO). Mae West made a fabulous PMS quip: Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready to be institutionalized yet.

Ooooooo... Hubby disagrees. He says it means... well... er... um... Hmm... Seems he gave me something I can't tweet or repeat (LMAO). It appears I may have been hasty and wrong in my initial assessment of not giving you guys more of a heads up. If you are anything like Mikey (e.g. Mr Minion) then you obviously need a wee bit more help (LOL). After all, according to Mae, yall are institutionalized and my hesitation to quote his latest wise crack says a lot (LOL).

BTW, Male Menopause can be a fascinating Internet discussion, but I digress... We shall save that tasty mental morsel of men being on their version of "the rag" for another fun blog post. If Mikey keeps this banter up it may be coming real soon too... I may have to illustrate this so women engaged in manscaping can spot the tell tale symptoms and prepare some very creative diversions... (LOL)

Women can be very creative (LOL). You need to learn the difference between our normal and creative selves. Which trait is the more dangerous of the two depends upon the unique personality of the specific woman (LOL). Remember this quote: I'm a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor (LMAO). Tell me that doesn't make you pause for a second and wonder about the power of PMS to effect change in one's life. Wanna learn something new today inspired by Candyland? Hmm... I just bet you do... especially if I tell you a useful lady secret or two and you clicked her vote link and read that interesting little crack about the skull and cross bones undies (ROTFL). I bet you are wondering what you got yourself into by reading this post...

Today's Cow Pie Talking Point is on mad fun chickas with post menopausal tendencies and BananaTude who blog with transparency. If you have to ask what BananaTude is you obviously don't have any. That is a crying shame. You need to get some. Immediately. It will improve your blogging and virtual disposition (and sometimes your love life - LOL). Trust me. People with BananaTude are mad fun (LOL). They enjoy Silly Saturdays, chill in the Fraiche Air, hang out in Club Chaos and brag about their Family Ties while being Dedicated Bloggers and masters of all things Whacked, Jacked and TLW. When you master the art of creating original content like The lovely Wife, "Have You Seen My Goober?" doesn't seem like a strange question at all and The Crap Channel beats HBO hands down. Seriously (LOL).